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The Definitive Guide to Bro-Brah Syndrome and Signs You Might Have It

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A Public Service Announcement From Doglotion

A terrifying disease has been running rampant through ski resorts all over North America the last couple years. It might have already gotten hold of those you love dearly. Hell, even you might be in its grasp! We’re talking about Bro-Brah Syndrome, otherwise known as total B.S. (with an invisible extra B for good measure). We at Doglotion are genuinely concerned about it affecting gapers worldwide so we’ve gone ahead and compiled a list of common symptoms associated with Bro-Brah Syndrome and what to do if these resonate with anyone you know.

Please, if you know of someone with these symptoms, help them receive the assistance they need. You might just save their life, or at least make ours better.

Symptoms:

DIN 14 Or Bust 

Skiing a binding with a DIN any lower than 14 is heresy to you. You constantly ask what DIN your buddies ski on so you can mention you crank yours to 16, because who cares about blown out knees? Tech bindings? Only the Beast 16 will do for you. Touring boots? Nah bro, only plug boots can do the trick. You might have Bro-Brah syndrome.

Death By Tagging

So you just grabbed a sick frame from your latest GoPro edit. You throw it on Instagram and make sure to tag all the brands you’re repping in the shot, but you’re not even sponsored. You might have Bro-Brah syndrome.

insta

This poor guy didn’t check himself before he wrecked himself.

Forum Fetish

Do you spend more time on ski forums discussing the finer points of ramp angle on a new Dynafit hybrid binding system that you heard Hoji is shredding on, than actually skiing? You might have Bro-Brah syndrome.

Forum Post

This victim of Bro-Brah Syndrome drank too much of the Kool Aid

Biners For Days

Do you have a whole whack of carabiners clipped on the outside of your backpack for no real reason other than to sound like a wind chime and show how hardcore you are? You might have Bro-Brah syndrome.

Carabiner

Another innocent victim of Bro-Brah syndrome.

Better Safe Than Sorry

It hasn’t snowed in 2 weeks. You’re ripping the resort with a few buds and have brought along the most essential piece of safety equipment for the day, your trusty avy airbag. You might have Bro-Brah syndrome.

On that note, you spend more time fiddling with your airbag than learning actual backcountry safety techniques. You might have Bro-Brah syndrome.

Bring Your Game Face

Any day that you can attach your ice axe to your backpack on the off chance you decide you might hit the slackcountry is a day well spent. You might have Bro-Brah syndrome.

If this in any way looks like you, you might have Bro-Brah syndrome:

 

GSA

The legendary Gaper Spirit Animal, the worst case of Bro-Brah syndrome ever recorded.

Treatment:

If this sounds like you, or someone you know and love, please do the right thing. Find help. Seek medical assistance immediately. The first step to getting better is accepting you have a problem. If it’s affecting a friend or acquaintance, your best bet is to call them out on it, publicly, as boldly and loudly as possible. This has been a public service announcement from Doglotion.

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  1. BRASSEIRE

    “Or, you could stop ripping on strangers who don’t conform to your expectations, and just be cool.”

    Yeah brah! Defininitely don’t forgot to be cool!

  2. Sean

    Bro-Brah Syndrome isn’t anything new. It’s been around since the late 80s, incubating in resort towns throughout the West. (Jackson, Aspen, Telluride, Alta/Snowbird, PCMR, Squaw)

    In 2012 a more contagious strain mutated from the tags of Julian Carr, Brody Leven, Caroline Gleich, Kalen Thorien and other famous ski fashion models. The SkiDC listed BRO-1/BRA-1 as a copycat subcutanoeus phototropic vanity platform for inspiring other egregious exhibitionists to ruthlessly comb the hashtag coffers of Instagram and Twitter in hopes of becoming an environmental ambassador, promoting disposable, petrochemical consumer products to throngs of mouth-breathing elitists.


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