Siri’s Voice Now Changes To Ian McIntosh’s When Near Coast Mountains

Apple made an announcement yesterday afternoon that may yet again change the way we incorporate our phones into our lives. The tech giant is known for their revolution of the smartphone and development of the feminine-voiced Siri. The personal assistant app can solve almost any of your domestic problems, but has never had solutions for those spending time in the mountains. To better reach the outdoor community, Apple has taken the voice of Siri and replaced it with everyone’s dream ski partner, Ian McIntosh. The app changes to a booming football coach voice once within 200 kms of the Coast Mountain range and gives the type of advice you would expect from McIntosh.

The update has only been live for less than a day and already social media is a buzz about the new experience. Sam Cassavant from Squamish raved on how well Siri knew the “Brandywine zone,” but was disappointed on how she kept repeating, “But I can’t tell you were the real good shit is.”

Visitors to Whistler Village were met with some confusion when experiencing the voice change. “At first it was fun, but it seems like Siri has a lot of baggage here. We were talked out of going to Sushi Village because her ex works there. The rest of the day, she kept on leading us to the nearest physio clinic.”

“Siri is fucking stoked all the time and that makes running errands a lot more enjoyable,” reports Squamish local, Andrea Helleman. “She even encouraged me to eat a few handfuls from the grocery store’s bulk section while she was making sure no one was watching.”

Though the change has been met with some enthusiasm in the Sea to Sky Corridor, it’s getting very poor reviews in Alaska. “Whenever I try and do anything on a cloudy day, Siri keeps telling me that there’s no way we’re getting out in this weather. What’s slow-roasting, anyways?” asked Deb Miller, manager of the Anchorage post office. “And Every time I mail something, Siri yells at me to fucking send it or to push the envelope. I know how to do my job OK?”


When asking the man himself, Ian McIntosh was glowing with excitement. “I’m so stoked to be a part of this new project. I love injecting some much needed energy into a company like Apple. I mean, my last name is a type of apple.”

As Ian’s work progresses within the technology world, he’s also looking at solutions to balance his new career with his old one. “If I get too busy with Apple to nail a full segment with TGR this winter, I’m pretty sure Chuck Norris could stunt double for me. We’re the only two gingers who can pull off a beard and I’ve been reading some pretty gnarly shit about him online. He also hasn’t had a real job in fifteen years, so is probably pretty hurting for cash.”


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