Hologram Tupac

Hologram Tupac Caught Skiing Avalanche Closure

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With a big storm cycle during the final week of operations, Whitewater patrol have temporarily closed all areas of the mountain with overhead avalanche hazards. Their snow safety team positioned themselves on the closure boundaries to make sure no one ducked the ropes and exposed themselves to a slide. Late yesterday patroller Jason “The Duke” Wishlow caught a young male going under the rope and skiing the untracked powder in Catch Basin. “I couldn’t really make out what the person looked like. Everything was pretty hazy, but they were a pretty weak skier so I caught up to them quickly.” The star-struck veteran patroller continued. “Man, I couldn’t believe it when he pulled his googles up – I recognized that face from Coachella 2012. I just busted Hologram Tupac!”

Though a connoisseur of 90s West Coast hip hop, Wishlow put his admiration aside and pulled Holopac’s ski pass. “Rules are rules,” he said, “whether you’re a skier, snowboarder, or a photographic recording of a light field you have to obey all signage.”

When questioned on how he ended up in the West Kootenays, Hologram Tupac answered bluntly “America is not a good place for young black hologram males these days. I asked around about where a broke, unemployed musician who likes puffy jackets should go. Everyone kept telling me Nelson was the place.” Though different than Oakland, California where the three-dimensional optical illusion has spent most of his life, he claims he couldn’t fit in better. “I’ve dropped the T. It’s all about Hug Life now. I love how all the hippies got all eyes on me, wondering if I’m a cosmic deity or just another acid flashback. There’s good weed here and City Hall lets me plug into their electric car charging station so I can juice myself up again.”

In the short time he’s spent in the Kootenays, E-Tupac has loved being up in the mountains. “I can honestly say I’m one of the best black skiers in the Kootenays. I mean, I suck at this, but…. there’s nothing but white people up there. Whitewater is a very accurate name.” As for how he feels about Patroller Wishlow who pulled his pass. “Hmmm,” said Pac, “I ain’t mad at cha.”

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