Brrrrr. It’s Cold in Here. It Must be the Coors in the Atmosphere.
If you haven’t seen Bring It On and don’t get that reference, please consider unfriending me on the Facebook.
But just in case, I’ll include a link at the end of this article so you can get that catchy cheer in your head. It might come in handy if you find yourself perched atop a filthy set of pillows and you need a little extra motivation.
I mention the pillows only because we’ve had a chance to ride them out in the Sea to Sky lately. For some unexplained reason, they’ve been really shitty the last couple of years so it’s been a real treat.
But yes, I went outside the other day and my Coors froze almost immediately. And when that happens in Whistler, it’s a surefire sign that the lower elevation lines are probably worth having a look at.
This might be bad news for all the flappers out there who like wearing flip flops in February. But it’s good nose for my “pig nose”, which really comes into its own after a few repeated bouts of frostbite.
Either way, I think it’s safe to say that the naysayers are right and that climate change is a total hoax. I actually caught up with Canada’s lead sciencologist, Dr. Richard Breath, recently to see what he had to say.
“Just try to walk outside right now without putting on a sweater,” he said. (I think anyways. He sounded quite drunk and The Milkshake Song was playing loudly in the background).
“It’s cold, damn cold,” he added. “And that’s OK if you’re doing the boardin’ but it ain’t no good if you’re with a lady.”
I’m not entirely sure what he meant by that and I found myself questioning the legitimacy of my source. But the main takeaways from the convo were as follows:
-Burn more two stroke
-Beer cans are best tossed in the nearest river
-Eat all of the burgers all of the time
Seems like solid advice to me. But I would like to add that it might be time to explore some of the your favourite lines below 5000’.
Like I said before…for some unexplained reason, they’ve been really shitty the last couple of years.
Feature image is of Nails Patterson, Accelerator Trees.
Author’s Note: If any of you feel the need to get tipsy drunk and bone up on your cheerleading references, I watch it once a fortnight.
Author’s Other Note: I may have been a bit misleading with my run names. It must be all the Coors in the atmosphere.