20161009-0031-goes15-vis-x-pac_northwest-x

HYPERBOLIC CLICKBAIT WINTER STORM PREDICTING SEASON ALREADY HERE

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In a dramatic turn of events from sunny skies and Thanksgiving turkey, many of us in the industry are excited to see the early onset of clickbait articles dramatically articulating monumental snow dumps of apocalyptic quantities has already begun. Though it is theorized that this cyclical event has already started because of a predicted La Nina (phew, glad I managed to sneak that word in there to increase click-through) season, I believe it may also be due to an increased affliction for uplifting news due to the hot-headed Trump-Clinton election cycle going on in the US which is certainly creating a new benchmark for lack of hope for the future of our world.

Indeed, it seems Unofficial Networks, a known culprit of dabbling in the art of the “clickbait”, has kicked off the season with the following article:

un-clickbait

I would personally like to thank them for taking the brunt of the first hyperbolic storm prediction of the season for us. Thankfully, now we at Doglotion.com can theorize in peace.

Speaking of which, WHISTLER IS INDEED ABOUT TO GET DUMPED ON! Has winter already arrived? Will today be the last sunny day for the next 4 months now that our beloved mistress La Nina has arrived? My quantitative and empirical analysis below seems to say yes:

storm

Knowing Snow Forecast, we can expect a storm about 20% the size of the one predicted. Nonetheless, I do appreciate their forecasts as it makes for great news and stoke.

There’s more backup too. People who actually know stuff about weather, like Cliff Mass, are warning of a historic mega storm. He writes “A true monster storm, potentially as strong as the most powerful storm in NW history (the Columbus Day Storm of 1962) will be approaching our area on Saturday.  The UW WRF sea level pressure forecast for 5 AM Saturday morning shows the approaching cyclone.   The central pressure is an amazing 961 mb, with an unbelievably strong pressure gradient around it.” And adds some trippy graphics to help explain it…

map

Whistler weather/avalanche man Wayne Flann also pitched in some deep thoughts about this upcoming season, and the tasty storm coming to Whistler this weekend. And stoke machine Daily Buzz is liking what they’re seeing.

Furthermore, now that renowned clickbait critic Mikey Nixon has joined forces here at Doglotion, we can peacefully monopolize on clickbait articles this season without being called out on jixing storms exactly like how Mikey did to us last season when we got a little too excited about the forecast. Thanks, Mikey.

Winter is here and Doglotion is now one step closer to world domination which has been our mission statement since day one.

Oh, and we’ll end off with this…

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