Empowering Girls Inadvertently, Being Verbose and Four-Kinked Urban Rails: The Katrina Nicole Investigation


“I think we have been raised in an environment where people see cleverness and sex as being totally independent: sex is sex and is never clever or funny or witty,” says 25 year old PhD student and phenomenal park skier, Katrina Nicole. “And I’m not saying that sex has to be funny. But it can be.”

With 191 upvotes and 13k views a mere hours after she uploaded her second edition of #sexualwednesdays to Newschoolers.com, it seems that Nicole’s addition of both tying a cherry stem in a knot with her tongue – while Kelis sings “Milkshake” between incredible rail-tricks at Keystone – and a single frame of the jibbers cleavage being satirically pseudo-seductively tickled by the cherry may have helped her succeed with what she wanted all along.


“I film because it’s funny and fun to make movies to watch with my friends,” Nicole tells me amidst a shit-storm of equal parts harassment and praise, the day she released the edit. “I don’t have any sponsors, I just want to have fun with my friends and I would be lying if I said I didn’t like getting a rise out of people. You can ask my sisters, I have enjoyed instigating as far back as I can remember because it’s fun to push people’s buttons sometimes – especially those who are irrationally over-sensitive.”


Her edits always contain REALLY good skiing. Nicole has a huge bag of tricks and her arms never go above her head while some incredibly provocative and also some downright misogynistic rap bangs in the background – with lyrics that may or may not contain themes of strippers paying their way through college by pole dancing. This girl has anthropological merit and she must be taking the piss out of cheap advertising tactics or commenting on the taboo of the strong, provocative woman re-claiming their sexuality in a male-dominated patriarchy.


“As far as complex higher level intellect in people goes, I have a very pessimistic view,” Nicole says. “I graduated with my bachelors in mechanical engineering and biomedical engineering and minors in biology chemistry and pre-med. I’m currently a PhD student in integrative physiology working on biomechanics and computer programming. But that’s why I became an engineer and not a business person. I don’t understand people because, to me, they tend to be irrational. I’ve got a few really good chuckles out of some of the reactions that I’ve got from that video today.”


But will Nicole use her unique opportunity of skills and cerebelum to infiltrate the collective consciousness of horny youth and subversively discredit simplicity and sex in advertising by park skiing and clever editing? Thereby dismantling the effects of the patriarchy and endorsing complex higher level intellect to the youth?

“It’s a bit verbose don’t you think?” the 25 year old asks, her last year season edit titled: Mom Twerks and Hits a Box. “I don’t know if I have a message. But if I did it would be stop taking yourselves so seriously and just have fun and enjoy life. Some people seem to be annoyed they aren’t seeing more of my boobs. To them I would recommend pornhub.com.”

Other comments on her edit seemed to miss the mark: “Soo stupid,” one member said. “Just quit trying to be funny, sexually appealing or original.” Another said “Women won’t stop being a joke to this community, or to sports in general until they stop using sexuality to be popular.” and another: “whoever could pull my dick out of that would be crowned the new King of England.”


“Barriers only exist if you allow them to,” Nicole tells me. “I’ve always based my decisions on simply having fun and you make it sound like I have put much more thought into this than I have (laughs), but hey people can take from it what they want. If they want to think I am some slutty girl making soft core hbo porn for newschoolers that’s fine. If they want to think I’m reclaiming women’s sexuality that’s fine too. I’ve always just been an instigator.


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