Don’t cry over spilled beer.

Pills, Booze and the Arc’teryx Sabre Jacket and Pants: A Review

Product testing.

Product testing.

When Arc’teryx sends you a box full of gear to test and review but you are scheduled for knee surgery, what do you do?

The only thing you can do; drink beer, pop pills, and lay on the couch for 3 days like a useless piece of shit.

While it may not be what Arc’teryx designs their gear for, it is a common place that skiers find themselves post surgery. Maybe it’s the mixture of Dingle Gin and Tramadol making my mind wander but it may just might draw enough parallels to outdoor activities to warrant mashing the publish button at the end of this piece.

Tester Stats:
– 5’6″

-155lbs

– right knee operation

Gear Tested:
– Small Sabre LT

-Medium Sabre Pant

-Medium Atom LT Hoodie

-Flair Designs Sectional Couch

Environment:
-Mild. The heaters aren’t on and the fireplace is out of reach. But El Nino is keeping it coastal outside.

-Lonely. Solo, immobile couch survival takes preparation and a touch of constipation (Thanks Tramadol and Cheddar!)

Don't cry over spilled beer.

Don’t cry over spilled beer.

Test 1: 3 hrs Post-Op
When fully reclined you’re bound to spill your drink. Thankfully the 3 layer Gore-tex shell beads the liquid gold and allows you to retrieve your emergency straw to clean up the mess.

These pockets hold enough mercury to kill a whale.

These pockets hold enough mercury to kill a whale.

Test 2: 12 hrs Post-Op
A man has got to eat. And when a man can’t walk, he has to store 8 tins of easy-open tuna in his convenient and spacious quadricep pocket. Large pocket, large zipper, too easy.

Test 3: 24 hrs Post Op
Apparently when you eat three cans of tuna you get a little gassy. Out of professional curiosity I tried to Dutch Oven myself by testing out the Sabre’s Storm Hood. Thanks to the breathability of the Gore-tex membrane, it only smelled 75% as bad as I expected. If you’re curious, the jacket collar is soft on the face and the hood will clear a helmet.

Test 4: 33 hrs Post-op
My fluid consumption caught up to me. Gore-tex 3L saves the Flair Designs Sectional!

Buckle and doggo proof.

Buckle and doggo proof.

Test 5: 33 hrs Post-op
Apparently my puppy didn’t figure out how to feed herself. Luckily the Keprotec abrasion guard had no problem starving her of my pants and keeping my cuffs looking new.

Beware of what you may vent out.

Beware of what you may vent out.

Test 6: 46 hrs Post-op
40 hrs of laying on a couch in ski gear. You could say I smelled like a teenage boys bedroom a week after he discovered Fortnight and Redtube. Two large pit vents with easy-pull zips aired me out in a jiffy.

Not quite your grade 8 tear-a-ways.

Not quite your grade 8 tear-a-ways.

Test 7: 65 hrs Post-op
Does changing a bandage on your knee without taking off your pants sounds difficult? Not with the hefty half leg length vents on the Sabre pant.

Three days came and went and my wounds aren’t gangrenous. Success!

Behind every good jacket is and Atom LT

Behind every good jacket is and Atom LT

While the shell garments protected me from myself, the Atom LT mid-layer kept me comfortable and made it darn near an enjoyable experience. A staple piece in every adventurer’s collection and often the classiest coat in a ski patrollers closet, the Atom LT is just a no brainer: comfort, warm, breathable, light, and mobile.

While Arc’teryx has materials and features dialed, their fit takes some getting used to. Items tend to fit big and because of the specificity of their shape, they don’t lend to be a flattering baggy. Try a piece on to see what works or use the measurement chart on the website. The Sabre LT has a casual but svelte freeride cut that is less boxy and has a longer torso. My only complaint on the fit is that I find the longer cut and the narrow diameter waist restrictive on my quads when walking.

But I have thunder thighs so who’s to say.

If you want to be like me check out what Arc’teryx has to say:
Sabre LT Jacket
Sabre Pant
Atom LT Hoody

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